Spiritual Bypassing

Fewer things are more destructive to faith than spiritual bypassing. 

What it is 

Spiritual bypassing describes the use of spirituality to avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, or uncomfortable aspects of life.

Spiritual bypassing is a defense mechanism that hinders healing and connection.I have been guilty of spiritual bypassing. I hate it when it’s done to me and it grieves me that I’ve done it to others.

Examples:

Clichés used to avoid difficult emotions.

• “God never gives me more than I can handle”
• “Life is hard but I’m doing better than I deserve”
• “This suffering is just part of God’s plan”

Overemphasizing forgiveness to avoid conflict

• “Sure, what they did was wrong but, I need to forgive and forget”
• “We’re all God’s children. What’s the problem?”

Using Scripture to silence emotions.

• “Be anxious for nothing.”
• “God causes all things for good”

Avoiding deep work because of the belief ‘Jesus is enough’

• Believing that prayer or spiritual practices are all that’s needed for healing.
• Believing that seeking mental health support is a sign of weak/compromised faith.

How to Redirect

Sooner or later we will find ourselves with someone who is spiritually bypassing. Here are some ways to redirect the bypass. 

Bypass ❌

“God never gives me more than I can handle”

Redirection 🪴

People often say that AND this situation feels like a lot to handle. Would it help to talk about ways I can support you?

Bypass ❌

“Sure what they did was wrong but, I need to forgive and forget.”

Redirection 🪴

Forgiveness can bring peace, but it’s not the same as reconciliation or repair. Do you feel felt and understood?

Bypass ❌

The Bible says “Be anxious for nothing.”

Redirection 🪴

That verse is such a comfort AND Paul had a deep emotional life. He said he felt such despair he wanted to die (2 Cor. 1:8). How are you feeling now?

A Brief Note on Tools 

These redirections are meant to offer tools to show up as you. No tool can magically create connection. Any tool can be weaponized. 

Spiritual bypassing shuts down connection and vulnerability. I hope we find the courage to connect and stay vulnerable, no matter what others may do. 

Because he likes us,

Craig